While preparing for a local gathering and under the influence of Margaritas, a small group of handspinners had the true signs of the Zodiac revealed to them by the Mother Goddess, Spider Woman.
Spider February 14 - March 6
lucky sign - FOUR CHAIRS - NO WAITING
lucky object - a 1941 Plymouth
lucky number - B 13
color - Haze Purple
Famous people: Arachne, Athena
Those born under this sign tend to hang around and lurk in dark corners. They may appear ordinary but often have a wilder side locked away. In fact many born under this sign end up locked away somewhere.
Distaff Mar 7 - Apr 1
lucky sign - HELP WANTED
lucky object is a warping board
lucky number - 3.14159
color - Once-In-A-Moon Blue
Famous people: Rumpelstiltskin, Briar Rose
Those born under this sign like things in order. They appear quiet and reserved, often to the point of dullness, but if there is an interesting story or an adventure, those born in this sign are ready to go and are able to tell an exciting story afterwards. They are compatible with those under the sign of the SILKWORM and the LOOM.
Shuttle Apr 2 - May 24
lucky sign - GENTS
lucky object has been confiscated by the police
lucky number -7 ¼ (it is also your lucky hat size)
color - Sign-on-the-Dotted Lime
Famous people - The Crane Wife
SHUTTLEs can never make up their minds; they go back and forth and back and forth on a subject until they just run out of steam and let fate make their choices for them. It often makes for a wonderfully exciting life for those born under this sign, but those people around them tend to get pissed off. They are compatible with those under the sign of the DISTAFF, the COMB, the BOLL and the LOOM.
Wheel May 25 - Jul 4
lucky sign- DO NOT SPIT ON THE FLOOR
lucky object - a Twist-a-Braid
lucky number - a googol
color - Waltzing Magenta
Famous People - The Spinning Fairies, Thumbelina
Those born under the sign of the WHEEL tend to travel in circles. They are often so talented that they can play a kazoo and ride a unicycle at the same time. Unfortunately, there isn’t much demand for those talents so they spend a lot of time in the unemployment line. If a WHEEL is driving on your road trip, be sure to take a map.
Comb Jul 5 - Aug 5, 11:57 PM
lucky sign - KEYS MADE HERE
lucky object - a Singer Sewing Machine
lucky number - 1929
color - You-Are-My-Sunshine Yellow
Famous people - Prince Charming, Aragorn
People born under the sign of the COMB are sharp-witted. They are honest and dependable until they come in contact with large sums of money. They are compatible with those born under the sign of the EWE.
Boll Aug 5, 11:58 PM- Sept 5
lucky sign - YIELD
lucky object is broken
lucky number - the highlight of a floundering Broadway musical
color - Little-Riding-Hood Red
Famous people - The Seven Dwarves, Hercules (the Kevin Sorbo one, not that Italian one)
Folks born under this sign are charismatic - also shock resistant and waterproof. They love parties and gatherings and tend to break out in song without much encouragement. This sign is compatible with every other sign and BOLLs tend to throw big parties.
Ewe Sept 6 - 30
lucky sign - NO PETS ALLOWED
lucky object - has escaped and is scaring the populace
lucky number - 555-1234 (ask for Bob)
color - Hiho Silver
Famous people - BoPeep, Babe
Most EWEs are multi-talented. They enjoy the finer things in life, like room service and being in Carolina in the Morning. Being compatible with those born under the sign of the COMB, these relationships can become entangling.
Spindle Oct 1- Nov 16, 9:55 PM
lucky sign - DO NOT SPEAK TO THE DRIVER WHILE COACH IS IN MOTION
lucky object - a Golding Handspindle
lucky number - MCMLXVII
color - Come-and-Get-Me Copper
Famous people - There used to a famous person under this sign, but not anymore.
Those born under the sign of the SPINDLE should never be given sharp, pointy things or matches. They often are found gathering at the mall fountain after closing to find the rent money. These people are detail oriented and should never be given a government job. This need for detail can be focused into research, the application for a private eye’s license or as a writer for a tabloid newspaper.
Cauldron Nov 16, 9:56 PM - Dec 2, 2:05 AM
lucky sign - THIS SPACE RESERVED FOR EXPECTANT MOTHERS
lucky object - an orange crayon
lucky number - 12 noon
color - Thanks Vermillion
Famous people - The Queen from Snow White, Cinderella, Toady from Wind in the Willows
The stars say that all the people born under this sign are the same, but from what we see, the stars lie. What may appear to be just your typical human being is really a person of depth and interest. If a CAULDRON invites you over for tea, wear a tie.
Silkworm Dec 2, 2:06 AM - Jan 3
lucky sign - LOITERING PROHIBITED
lucky object - row counter
lucky number is up
color - Muscadine Maroon
Famous people - Si-ling, empress of China, Ganesha, the Indian god of good beginnings
SILKWORMs are persistent, detail oriented and loyal friends. Shy but extroverted describes the personality of people born under this sign. They like coats and sweaters and prefer cozy abodes. SILKWORMs love their pets and often spend a lot of time cooking for them.
Loom January 4 - Feb 13
lucky sign - NO LEFT TURN 4 PM-6 PM
lucky object - a pair of rubber gloves
lucky number - 0
color - I’ll-Be-Black
Famous people - Persephone, Silas Marner
Those born under this sign tend to believe that bigger is better; they clutter their homes with large tools and equipment, and walk around with a tape measure clipped to their belt. Whenever a job needs to be done, you can look to a LOOM to do it.
